Aries
A tedious altercation with a family member will remind you that there is no point in trying to get re-run old arguments and expect a new outcome. Let the dead past bury its dead! Act in the living Present! Heart within and God overhead – not mine, Longfellow’s. But the stars are in agreement with the poet this month. Let it go. Romance A tall, dark stranger is coming into your life. Seriously. Good looking, too.
Taurus
If you go to a casino this month, bet on spades… no wait… hearts…. no…. spades. Yes, spades, definitely spades. Well, maybe you’d better go fifty-fifty. I can’t get a clear read on this at all. Don’t spend more than you can afford at the table though. No, that’s not in the stars, I just think gambling is stupid. Romance Okay, so this is more like it. If you do end up in a casino, pay special attention to the croupier. You stand a chance there.
Gemini
A memento you come across will bring back bitter-sweet memories. See? It never pays to dig around in old papers – just throw them out. You don’t want to read that stuff. As the Buddha says, will you get over it, already? Meanwhile, an animal in your life is crying out for some attention. Romance A person you have had your eye on is more interested in you than you know. Take a chance and give them a call. At the least you’ll make a new friend.
Cancer
You are going on a long journey this month. At the end of this journey, a momentous event will occur which may change your life forever. For good or bad, I can’t tell you - I’m afraid the stars are silent on this point. But be prepared for seismic activity. Romance A short, blonde stranger will come into your life. Don’t be quick to rush things. Take your time and the rewards will be immense. You don’t need a lottery win. This is enough.
Leo
With Mars active in your sign, a war is going to erupt in your living room, or your workplace. Either way, it’s not good news for you. Be prepared. Get out your trident and shield, your AK-47, you need to be armed to the teeth. But once appropriately armed, don’t forget that diplomacy will probably get you further. Confucius said that. Or someone. Romance Your partner needs attention. Well der, that’s why they’re in the living room screaming at you.
Virgo
A chance encounter will set your life on a different course. You might want to resist this course. It may not be the best thing for you. Sometimes the rut is the best place to be, you just don’t know it. Don’t be blown about by every damned chance encounter! Romance Well, they don’t call you Virgo for nothing, do they? You’ve got nothing going on this month. I mean zip. I can’t believe how blank this canvas is. Better luck next month.
Libra
The moon/Juno midpoint moving through your sign will bring up a lot of unwanted rubbish into your life in all its forms. Your parents will probably try to dump a load of their old junk on you, too afraid to throw it out in case there’s a war again. Or an ex may come lumbering back with a lot of old accusations. Throw it all back at them. It’s their problem, not yours. Romance A new relationship may be going through a rocky patch. Or it may not.
Scorpio
Your temper is getting the better of you. Try to remember to listen to everyone’s story, even the dull and ignorant – Desiderata said that – for they, too have their story. Yes, it’s a stupid and boring story, but I think the Desiderata means that there’s something of value for you even in the stupid and boring. I know. Sounds like a complete crock, doesn’t it? Well, give it a go. Better than spitting at everyone. Romance Take your partner out to dinner and give them flowers. Don’t ask why, just do it.
Sagittarius
A computer glitch will affect your life in a way that – well, it’s a computer glitch, isn’t it, so in a way that’s not good. Back up everything now, while you can. It may already be too late. Don’t panic. No, panic. You need to panic. Romance Wait a minute… I’m seeing something. It’s the computer glitch. Are you internet dating? Okay, you really need to think this through. A cute photo and phone sex aren’t good indicators for life partnership.
Capricorn
An incident at work will have you questioning your own sanity. Did he really say “drill down”? He did, or some equally vile equivalent. A plague of managerialism has broken out at your workplace. I fear a team building weekend can’t be far off. Try to ride it out gracefully. I’d avoid the paintball and see if you can do the team scrabble. Much more civilized. Romance On the other hand, these weekends can have their promising aspect.
Aquarius
A new sport will be fun at first, buying the equipment, taking the lessons, but you will soon tire of it. Also, you’re not as young as you used to be, so watch out for disc trouble. You could find yourself flat on your back even before the boredom sets it. Better play it safe and go back to channel surfing. Romance Your partner will be unusually attentive this month. Suspicious? I think so, but you’ll have to use your own judgment. Maybe they just want a back rub.
Pisces
Your parents may be making noises about coming to stay. Try to persuade them to stay in a hotel, for your own sanity. It’s been too long since you’ve lived with your parents, and you’ve forgotten what they’re like. No, really you have. They’re nice now they’re only over the phone, but let them in your house and it’ll be “Wipe your feet, turn off the television, you’re eating ice cream for breakfast??” They mean well, but… Romance Another good reason to send your parents to the inn. You want to have sex this month, right? Well alright then.